MY FIRST TRIMESTER
MY FIRST TRIMESTER
My intention isn’t to scare anyone with this long list of difficulties the first trimester had to offer. I hope that this brings you comfort if you’re in that phase of life. The first trimester is extremely isolating. We’re encouraged not to tell anyone until we’re in the clear, but the anxiety of going through it alone is bona fide. So if you’re going through this just know that it does get better. I took comfort in reminding myself that it was temporary. One day I will long for these simple trials that I faced while pregnant.
I am by no means a medical professional and you should always consult your doctor for medical advice. This is just what I went through during my first trimester and ways I found comfort or relief.
UNEXPECTED SYMPTOMS
BLOATING
Whoa. I knew bloating was a pregnancy symptom, but I didn’t realize to what extent. I felt more pregs with my distended bloated stomach at week 5 than I did at week 14-15. But I was assured it was a very common symptom of rising progesterone.
This was a pretty frustrating symptom in the beginning because the baby was the size of a poppy seed, yet my pants couldn’t comfortably button. I drank 80+ oz of water per day but it didn’t matter, the bloating remained until about week 12.
BREAKOUTS
Oy vey! Pregnancy glow? Yeah, we don’t know her, at least not yet. I already get mistaken for a high schooler more than I’d like (probably because of my height). But now that I had the skin of a hormonal teenager, there was no convincing anyone I wasn’t a teenager. NOTHING, I mean NOTHING, could clear up my new skin, except good ‘ol time.
My skin slowly began to clear up around week 13 but it still isn’t as smooth or blemish free like it was pre-pregnancy.
VERTIGO
This one surprised me. I had never heard of anyone suffering from vertigo but apparently, it’s pretty common. Do you know that feeling after a big night out drinking? The one where you’re still buzzed, on the cusp of a hangover, riding the very short high that is inevitably impending, dizzy, off-balance, foggy doom? Yeah, that’s pregnancy too.
CRAMPS
I had never heard anyone talk about this symptom. But I had menstrual-like cramps until weeks 9-10. As you can imagine this was pretty nerve-racking but my doctor reassured me it was just my uterus expanding!
SLOWER DIGESTION
Oh, progesterone, how you hurt me. Slower digestion? Yeah, this one was a doozy and probably why I was so bloated. It wasn’t until week 12 when I started to take a probiotic and magnesium citrate daily. This was the only supplement that made difference in how I felt!
ANXIETY
My stresses were probably heightened because of a previous loss, but I imagine every newly pregnant woman struggles with anxiety in the beginning. For me, my anxiety revolved around the fear of losing the baby. John and I were very guarded in the beginning and tried not to get too attached. That’s much easier said than done after you hear the heartbeat a few times. We just wanted everything to be okay but God, it’s so hard to relax when it’s out of your control.
By week 10, I was still so anxious, even after several “good” appointments. I caved and got a fetal doppler. A fetal doppler is a little machine that allows you to hear the fetal heartbeat. It only costs $50 and is safe to use, so for me, it was a no-brainer. I listen to Little Lap’s heartbeat a few times a week and it gives me peace of mind. I doubt I’ll use it when I can start to feel him/her kick all the time!
HORMONAL CHANGES
I’ve always heard of women having crying fits but rarely heard women talk about pregnancy rage. I’m an emotional person and get teary eyed by just about anything - a sweet card, a good Super Bowl commercial, a delicious cheesesteak - you name it, I’m cryin’. But strangely I have not cried or gotten teary eyed once this pregnancy. Everything just irks me? If you’re chewing loudly or breathing the wrong way, RUN.
Please pray for Lappy.
HEIGHTENED SENSE OF SMELL
Let’s chat about my newfound nose. I had the nose of a bloodhound; I could smell the Starbucks cashier from my car with my mask on (spoiler alert, it wasn’t pleasant), I could smell cardboard, the vegetables in the other room on the counter, cat litter on people’s clothes. Just WHAT?! So, as you can imagine, the fragrance of food was quickly considered a stench to my new nose. Sadly, this symptom affected the way I ate. But I go more into that below under “Dietary Changes”.
THE NAUSEA
This is probably the most notorious of all the pregnancy symptoms. I nevvver get sick so I thought I would be spared this symptom. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I was nauseous from about 4 weeks pregnant and still struggle with it now in my second trimester. At first, I would get small bouts of nausea. It lingered longer and longer each day and eventually lasted all day and throughout the night. Luckily, when I did throw up, it was only a couple of times a week. So many girls I know struggled with it several times a day, so I counted my blessings! The only way I could briefly combat it was to sometimes eat small portions of carbs like pretzels or cream cheese bagels. More than anything, it was just a waiting game.
I was prescribed Zofran but it honestly didn’t help me much and the adverse side effects weren’t worth the tradeoff.
Foods That Temporary Helped: Bananas, Rice, Popsicles, Soup
SYMPTOMS COME & GO
For me, this was one of the most difficult things to deal with. At the height of my sickness, I was sick 5-6 days from sunup until sundown and throughout the night. But on that one day I felt good, I always worried. Was the baby okay? Was I having a missed miscarriage? I wish I could tell you I learned how to get a handle of this anxiety, but I didn’t until the end of my first trimester. Like I said, the fetal doppler provided me so much peace of mind. I felt ludicrous for ordering one, but if it helped my stresses subside then so be it.
YOU JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE YOURSELF
Between nausea, fatigue, bloating, lack of motivation, inability to cook or eat how I normally do, etc., I found it hard to feel like myself. I was moody and wildly stressed. I couldn’t shake the “what ifs” until about week 11-12. I felt like I was losing myself. Most days I spent in bed with horrible vertigo and/or nausea. Tthe other days I was able to work on my feet, I burnt out quickly.
Again, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for my pregnancy. I’ve gone through my own struggles to get pregnant so I don’t take this for granted. I’m just trying to keep it real and hopefully comfort someone who is going through this themselves. It has gotten much better and I do feel like myself now. But ooooof, that first trimester was a kick in the pants.
THE UPSIDE
The upside to the downside was that each symptom was reassurance my body was working hard to make a baby. Call me crazy, but after a while, I didn’t mind being sick. It just made it that much more real.
I feel stronger because of it. I have a new sense of empathy and appreciation towards moms (I don’t know how you second and third + times mom do it!) And now, I’m able to soak in all the exciting changes rather than live in constant fear.
DIETARY CHANGES
BACKSTORY ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD & COOKING
So how I look at food is like this - I ask myself, “What does this food have to offer my body?“ I’ve been this way for 10+ years. And at one point in my life, I overdid that question and restricted myself far too much. That is why I decided to go to culinary school. I wanted to break those chains and learn about how to make food delicious and nutritious. That’s a can of worms we can unpack another day but that’s how I view food. Yes, I love to eat delicious grub and I love to indulge in any and every food under the sun but before all that I have been so fascinated by how food fuels us, how food can be medicine, how food is essential for survival. So yeah, you could say that food is a big part of who I am in many different facets. It’s a topic you’ll never know everything about. And I think that’s what always keeps me coming back for more . . . the wealth of information, the stories, the family ties, the growth in the kitchen, the creative possibilities, etc.
FOOD AVERSIONS & EATING HABITS
Before pregnancy I would attempt to prepare myself for the food aversions, researching healthy, nutrient-dense solutions, convincing myself that I was capable of maintaining my nutritious eating habits. I was rudely awakened – like an air horn, a cold bucket of water, and a fleet of murder hornets – when the nausea and food aversions hit. The smells of food were so intense I couldn’t even set foot in the kitchen or near my spice cabinet. I felt so weak that it was work just slathering peanut butter on bread.
This was extremely difficult for me in the beginning. I felt like I failed and like I wasn’t strong enough for this kid. But after a few weeks, I realized the best thing to do would be to let my guard down and eat whatever I could, nutrients or not. My diet was carb-heavy – cream cheese bagels, cereal, uncrustables, deli sandwiches, etc. I don’t think I touched one vegetable for at least 3 weeks, during the height of my sickness. For a while, I couldn’t stomach any animal protein, other than deli meat. While this was out of my comfort zone, it was honestly the only thing I could keep down at times. And that’s okay. I kept reminding myself that this phase was temporary.
The food aversions were pretty intense for nearly 7 full weeks. I could barely eat anything. As you can imagine, this affected my work too. After all, I cook and eat for a living. I prayed about this constantly as I felt so lost and not like myself during that time. Like he always does, God provided one opportunity after another that I could work on while I was sick. I often felt/feel beside myself – why am I so lucky? Why are we so blessed? But rather than go down that rabbit hole, I just stayed grateful.
POULTRY: Ugh, even the word “chicken” was revolting during my first trimester. I couldn’t be anywhere around raw meat. If I ate chicken, someone had to cook it for me. Now, I am able to cook and eat it without any issues!
SEAFOOD: If you know me at all, you know I consume seafood several times a week. It’s my favorite source of protein and my most constant go-to! But sadly this one was out the window until week 13ish. I eat seafood a few times a week now but still cannot stomach fish like salmon or halibut.
COFFEE: Prior to pregnancy, I drank coffee 1-2x a day. The week I found out I was pregnant I was repulsed by the smell of coffee. I didn’t try to force anything and just said “screw it” for those few weeks. Now, in my second trimester, I’m able to enjoy espresso without feeling sick. However, don’t ask me to drink a full cup of coffee. I wouldn’t survive!
NUTRIENT-DENSE FOODS I COULD STOMACH
Bananas, Yogurt, Smoothies with protein powder, flaxseed and chia seeds.
Yep. The list is that short.
CRAVINGS
I had always heard that you crave food you don’t normally crave in pregnancy. That thought excited me! I assumed I would crave things I don’t typically have an appetite for, like pork (oh the fun I could have with chops, loins, etc.) or octopus! You can imagine my letdown when I realized my cravings would be things like 3 servings of KFC mashed potatoes or a bag of Fritos.
I don’t have cravings as much as I have random short bouts of intense food aversions. However, when I do have a cravings, they are exceptionally strong and so specific they’re humorous. “I want it, I gotta have it, right then and there” kind of mindset.
THE SOLUTION
I wasn’t worried about feeding myself, mainly because I had little to no appetite. I ate whatever I could, when I could. However, I did feel bad for John, who hasn’t cooked a meal for himself since well before the pandemic and was in the thick of busy season while I was sick.
Take out and HEB ready-made meals to the rescue. I think we ordered more take-out the past few months than we have in the past 3 years combined. I’m normally such a psycho-control freak about cooking and sourcing my food but anything went these past few months!
When I started to feel better, I reverted to simple nutritious solutions like frozen vegetables (cauli rice, brown rice, medleys) and rotisserie chicken. Although nothing compares to a homemade bird, the rotisserie chickadee would have to suffice short term!
This past week I was able to cook every day, a few times a day! Victory!!
RESOURCES I’M USING
APP: WHAT TO EXPECT
I checked this app obsessively in the beginning. There were so many helpful forums and discussions on the app in addition to the thorough week-by-week updates. There were equally just as many fear-inducing discussions on the app. But if you go in knowing this, you can use your best judgment to steer clear of those conversations.
APP: THE BUMP
I also frequent this app! I love the informative week-by-week updates of The Bump and compare it to the other apps I’m using.
APP: FLO
Before pregnancy, I was using Flo to track my cycles for almost 2 years. I pay for the annual subscription and have learned so much about my body throughout the process of trying to conceive. Once I switched it to pregnancy mode, it gave me daily updates about my body and so many suggestions for dealing with the first trimester. 11/10 would recommend this app!
I stumbled upon her page on Instagram and have found her extremely helpful throughout all my food aversions.
BOOKS
Baby Wise
Expecting Better
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
We’re Pregnant, First Time Dad’s Book (What John’s Reading)
BODY CHANGES
BUMPIN’
When did I start showing? Like I said before, the bloat was real. I felt like I looked more pregnant at 5 weeks than I did at 13 weeks. But the bloating slowly went down, and I felt like I started to show during week 11. My midsection felt thicker. By week 13 my bump began to take shape. When I wake up I don’t have a distinguishable bump . . . like I said my midsection just feels thicker . . . but by the end of the day, I am BUMPIN’!
I am 5’1 and petite so this didn’t surprise me or worry me at all! I will say that I found myself comparing my body to other women’s bump pics then I realized all of their pics were posed or they were sucking in. I can surely hide my little bump if I suck in but why would I do that? I waited so long for this moment and I want to proudly show my new growing body!
WEIGHT GAIN
In the beginning, I was obsessed with the scale . . . especially since my pants were incredibly tight from the bloat. By week 8, I put my scale away and said I would only weigh in every 2-3 weeks. Obsessing over a number wasn’t going to help me at all. Especially since my weight was fluctuating in between very sick days and normal days.
I’m not limiting myself to a certain number of pounds I need to gain. I’m just eating well, exercising often, and as my body grows, it will grow! My body serves a much bigger purpose than being a certain size.
WORKING OUT
I want to preface this by saying that I work out because it genuinely makes me feel better. I don’t work out in an attempt to achieve a certain physique. I exercise because mentally it keeps me sane.
HOW OFTEN?
I never wait to feel motivated to work out. I just do it. During the height of my sickness, I was only able to work out 2-3 times a week and not nearly as hard as I was before pregnancy. I exercised because sometimes it was the only way I could find relief from nausea. On the days the vertigo was too bad, I just listened to my body and didn’t do a thing!
Once I started to feel good, around week 11, I started to work out 5-6x a week. While I know that might sound extreme to some, I want to reiterate that I work out for the endorphins. Before pregnancy, I was working out 4-5x a week and using the Sweat App plus bike rides around Austin. Now, I still use the Sweat App (with modifications) and have added in 15 minutes to 1 hour of cardio daily. For cardio, I walk on an incline at a 3.5 pace while I binge YouTube or Handmaid’s Tale (Team Luke or Team Nick?). Sometimes I’ll stair-step or use the elliptical but most days I opt for incline walking. On days that I don’t weight train, I aim for 8-10k steps on the treadmill or outside!
This is what has worked for me! Digestion slows significantly during pregnancy so working out was one way I found temporary relief from the bloat and lethargy. Plus, endorphinssssssssss.
DOCTOR VISITS
I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks and 2 days, the morning we closed on our house. I was surprised at how early I found out and so. incredibly. nervous. I called my doctor immediately and was instructed to get bloodwork to measure my hCG levels and progesterone during week 3 and week 4. Ideally, your hCG doubles every 48 hours in the beginning. I had strong numbers from the get-go which was such a relief. Last pregnancy, we saw the baby via ultrasound but found out my numbers weren’t climbing like they needed to, and it was just a waiting game. I was sooooo relieved this pregnancy was off to a good start but of course, this couldn’t relieve all my stress, especially since I miscarried further along.
My first ultrasound was at 6 weeks to “confirm the pregnancy”. I was a nervous wreck before this appointment, mentally preparing myself for the worst. Luckily, John was able to join me this visit and we were able to hear the heartbeat!! I did more bloodwork (8 vials of blood, yikes) and everything came back normal.
My next and second in-person visit was at 8 weeks to check on Little Lappy. We got to hear the heartbeat and see Little Lap, who resembled a gummy bear, wiggle around. With each visit, we felt more and more attached.
Week 10 I went in for NIPT testing, which just requires a blood draw, that tests for genetic abnormalities as well as gender. We found out our results 1 week later. Everything came back normal and we currently know the gender, but we will not be sharing it until we have confirmation at our next appointment. There is only about a 3% chance that it is incorrect, but it’s not a chance I’m willing to take. What do you think? He or she?!
Week 12 I went in for a 30-minute sonogram and got to see Little Lappy wiggle around like crazy. This time he/she looked less like a gummy bear, and more like a little person. The baby was so active it often looked like he/she was waving! It was one of the coolest experiences EVER!
I’m so grateful for my doctors, as they have made me feel sane during a pretty rocky time.
HOW I’M FEELING NOW
I have more good days than bad, so I am grateful for that. My appetite is slowly returning. My energy has increased significantly. My skin is clearing up. I have small bouts of nausea and vertigo, but nothing in comparison to the first trimester. Aaaaand I just recently started to be able to feel Little Lap move!
I’m soaking in every second of my changing, growing body. I’m really enjoying this time with just John and I. Part of me is sad to think it won’t be just the two of us for years to come. But on the flip side, I cannot wait to see John become a dad *cue the water works*.
In short, I just feel so grateful to be pregnant. I’ve struggled to get here and can’t believe it’s my turn to have my own!
If you’re in that phase right now, hang in there. I know the days are long, you don’t feel like yourself and it sometimes feels never ending, but I promise you it does get better. And soon you’ll be able to soak in the exciting changes ahead!